Humour

Humour

Dear Steve:

I have spent several days trying to get a registered version of VS 2013 Professional working on my Dell computer. It has been a nightmare, the CAB files were corrupted. Finally just sorted out the mess. I am now installing Fortran back to get the integration correct.

During this process I was talking to one of our computer support types, who made the statement that FORTRAN IS DEAD, I mumbled in my beard, Intel etc... and was told .. only one and they will get out of it shortly.

I did not laugh, poor taste

I did not cry, he was young and does not realize that Fortran will last till 42 is a real number again

I did not gnash my teeth, I simply did what any good Fortran programmer would do, I felt sorry for a lower life form and got on with coding.

JMN

 

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Steve

Steve, can we get that in a t-shirt?  coffee mug?

Rumors of my its death have been greatly exaggerated.

A t-shirt would be a great idea, but with correct spelling (Fortran, not fortran!).
 

And take the 's off or at least convert it to " is" centered on next line..

I'd buy a mug and cap. Don't think I am nerdy enough for a T-shirt.

Ooh! Just the right things to accompany the cup

A pocket protector....
And companion slide rule
(with logo).

Jim Dempsey

www.quickthreadprogramming.com

The guy who created this, Sorin Suciu, initially left off the 's. He made this in response to a comment I made in a review of his book, The Scriptlings. It's a great book - check it out.

Steve

Quote:

jimdempseyatthecove wrote:

...

 a mug and cap. .. T-shirt.

...

These might make better gifts than the "belt"s for the contributors to the IDZ foums as they reach certain point levels... perhaps the Intel Black Belt program team can take this into consideration.

Quote:

Steve Lionel (Intel) wrote:

By the way, there used to be a sizeable section on FORTRAN-related humor in the Wikipedia article on Fortran, mostly jokes at the expense of FORTRAN.  It has been stripped down considerably.

Very nice picture!!! it is very fun...I strongly believe that Fortran is alive...:)

Ketson Roberto

Dear People who commented and the ghosters who inhabit this world.

There is a theory that in the sea of programming, three islands rise above the waves, Lisp, C and some say Fortran.

Having programmed in all three, LISP is the best to code in and one would describe it as a tropical island. C is just a maze with weird signs, and Fortran is nirvana, but lacks the lush jungle of the Lisp Island.  I Lisp when I seek beauty, I Fortran when it is quick and dirty and C is for those times of beating ones breast and hair tearing

I am thinking we can probably get the mugs made, I will look into it, but am I allowed to use the image?  I will fix it for F and is.

 

JMN

 

If you want to use the image, ask Sorin Suciu (see link above) for contact info

Steve

shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!...don't tell anyone your secret about the death of Fortran???!! It might make some of us old folks cry :-( I mean some folks are even foolishly still writing BOOKS on MODERN Fortran  (Markus 'Modern Fortran in Practice' (2012) and Clerman 'Modern Fortran Style an Useage' (2012) & Metcalf "Modern Fortran Explained') Must be a bunch of old folks (like me!) in nursing homes (not yet!) who do it for the historical or is it hysterical purposes?

Heck there's even a guy posting up a site trying to cover up the death of fortran! http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?DeadLanguageFortran

So point is when you hear 'Fortran is Dead' simply think of the Monty Python Holy Grail scene where the guy is walking with the cart 'Bring out your Dead' and the guy is thrown into the cart and he says 'I ain't Dead Yet' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdf5EXo6I68

(watch at 1:00) BAM! all ya gots ta do is hit em on the head!  :-)

Brian

p.s. with ability to link Fortran with ANY language it make me laugh when i hear folks converting large programs to C++ or other languages (which generally also changes the programs)...don't they realize through linking you can use the strengths of ALL languages?!!

 

 

 

 

bmchenry, see Doctor Fortran in "It's a Modern Fortran World"

Some of the "convert" tendency is lack of expertise for maintaining the existing code. My view, though, is that it's far easier to maintain existing code in a still-supported language, even if your staff needs to study the manuals a bit, than it is to rewrite the code just because you don't like the language. Rewriting always introduces new bugs. Always.

Steve

Steve:

I have asked the gentleman for permission to use the image on 5 mugs or t shirts.  I said that there would be zero or little profit and if per chance there is any profit it would be donated to the Cystic Fibrosis Society for research. (Awful disease)

 

We shall wait and see

JMN

Wish I could see what you're talking about, our firewall blocks the link.

 

A must listen - the Fortran song on YouTube! :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yd6FLETYZ_c

David, I've attached the image here.
 

Attachments: 

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Download uGIzulO.png26.46 KB
Steve

FortranFan, thanks for that link! I love it!

Steve

Quote:

John Nichols wrote:

Dear Steve:

I have spent several days trying to get a registered version of VS 2013 Professional working on my Dell computer. It has been a nightmare, the CAB files were corrupted. Finally just sorted out the mess. I am now installing Fortran back to get the integration correct.

During this process I was talking to one of our computer support types, who made the statement that FORTRAN IS DEAD, I mumbled in my beard, Intel etc... and was told .. only one and they will get out of it shortly.

I did not laugh, poor taste

I did not cry, he was young and does not realize that Fortran will last till 42 is a real number again

I did not gnash my teeth, I simply did what any good Fortran programmer would do, I felt sorry for a lower life form and got on with coding.

JMN

John,

You may be familiar with this thread at comp.lang.fortran and the online link to a PDF article by Craig Dedo on "Debunking the Myths About Fortran".

Re: ".. I was talking to one of our computer support types, who made the statement that FORTRAN IS DEAD.." - all around me, these "computer support types" have the attention span of a 2 year-old and one wonders if they can read beyond bits and bytes :-)

But putting all jokes aside, you may consider forwarding the Dedo article to this guy who made the "IS DEAD" remark.

 

Tell that "doubting Thomas" to try to run an APP with REAL(16) precision on C++.

I noticed this discussion thread a few minutes ago.  I thought that readers may wish to read the article I wrote on "Debunking the Myths About Fortran".  I last updated it in May 2011.  Here is a link to a PDF copy of the article on www.box.net .

https://app.box.com/shared/gksd4706a9

I am actively welcoming any suggestions for improvement that you may have.

 

Thanks for the video and image.

I would be interested in a T-shirt or mug.

Thanks.

Dear All:

I got a rply from the mug people.  For about 12 each plus postage we can get a nice coffee mug with the logo on it. 

If we buy a gross then we can get them for 4 each.  I reckon maybe three people, so no gross.

Anyone interested please respond here so I can move on if there is any interest

it is the Fortran is not dead logo

JMN

Count me in for one.

Me too, although I guess shipping to Australia will cost.

Also, not sure how I'll get the money to you.

David

Dear All:

I will order enough mugs. I will let you know when they arrive.

I will be in Oz in July and I will bring it with me for the Aussie.

JMN

I'll take one.  TIA

John,

While you said you'll be in Australia in July, remember it is a big place - from Perth (where I live) to Sydney is the same as London to Moscow!

I will, however, be visiting relatives in Toronto in July, so if shipping it there is an option, please let me know.

Thanks,

David

[P.S., have we lost the send private reply option on the forum? It would make more sense for me to correspond privately on this rather than in the forum]

For now, yes, the private reply feature is not available to users. I'm discussing this with management.

Steve

David:

It is almost impossible to explain Thesis week to most normal folk. it is not to bad when there is only one thesis student, two makes it interesting, three difficult and four means you are putting 1% of the graduating research students at the University through one office. I know the Thesis Office Director at TAMU by first name. She and her staff are excellent, but follow the rules completely. She makes grown men weep.

The problem is that the students are stressed and the committee's have perverse personalities, which is putting it politely. So it is not a good mix.

This semester has been somewhat kind, only two, one thesis and one professional paper. The professional paper was finished last week and the thesis - today.

One of my students was asked by his committee, why did he put the linear regression equation and the R(squared) on the graph. He tried to explain, made a HASH of it and received some negative comments. Later he asked me why, considering he had taken and passed Advanced Statistics at a top school, I was only moderately surprised. The real answer is because it is easy and anyone who understands stat will understand the R(squared) number and assign it a weight, instead he put in the full linear regression equation, normal probability plots. descriptive statistics and residuals plot, took about 2 pages in the document, then he asked again, so what does this is mean. I replied has an R(squared) of 0.95 so it is ok.

I have gone back to the shop to move the order forward.  Toronto will be easier.

 

JMN

 

John,

Since the forum no longer has private messages, are you on linkedin?

Thanks,

David

jm-Nichols--tamu.edu

fill in the missing symbol

The company that can produce the mugs has sent two colour samples, either white or silver

see attached pictures, can we take a vote on which we prefer?

 

I am going to order 8 to start with - should cover everybody - any left over are Christmas presents.

I vote white

JMN

Attachments: 

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Download Silver.jpg43.1 KB

Reluctantly, I also have to vote white. I say reluctantly because I already have various white mugs out the wazoo, but I do think the white looks a tad better.

I could easily be swayed if others prefer silver.

White works for me.  Thx.
 

I'm happy with white, too.

Dear D Boggs:

I can ask them if they will do one silver mug just for you if you like.

JMN

What service! Thanks but don't bother. I'd rather go with the flow.

All white,  - done

Dear All:

I have sent notices to a all folks who said they wanted a mug.  I had two left over, but I believe they went at the weekend to the Chemistry Department at TAMU. if you have not got a notice and you wanted a mug please let me know.

We raised about 200 for Cystic Fibrosis research - which is good.

I am just sorry Steve did not get a mug?

JMN

John,

I had wanted a mug, and sent you an e-mail with my address as directed, but go no response.

Daryl:

I sent you a direct email - it will wing its way in the morning -

Sorry I missed the email

JMN

Apologies to those who noticed this at comp.lang.fortran:

A little Fortran fun at Fox Trot: http://www.foxtrot.com/2014/10/12/baking-f/

 

 

 

I am sorry to revive this thread, but it could be possible to obtain a larger image of the "Fortran is not dead" phrase, I would like to use it as wallpaper, hehehe.

Well, I have a Ph.D. in Physics and I am professor at a University in Chile. I started to enter seriously into the programming world during my Ph.D. studies (Monte Carlo simulations of particle transport on matter) and the platform is written in FORTRAN 77. At the beginning even my father in law was surprised by that fact ("I used Fortran when I was your age!!" -- he always said, hahaha, I started my Ph.D. with ca. 23 at 2009, now I am 28), but soon after I started my research I felt very comfortable using Fortran. At least for me is far more clear to use than C/C++, hehehe.

Now I am entering in the parallel programming world and I am adapting some codes using OpenMP, and again I feel more comfortable using Fortran... and in the case of GPU programming (using OpenCL) I use interop capabilities between Fortran and C to maintain the main structure of my codes in Fortran... in my case the most difficult part is the initialization of the data needed for my simulations, and therefore it have been very efficient to maintain that part in Fortran and transfer the proper simulation section to C and then use OpenCL.

Well, as I am clearly not an expert programmer but I would like to say that this forum have been a key part of my scientific career, having such a nice place to learn and solve doubts about this language is really great, and reading blogs like "Doctor Fortran" encourages me to continue learning and improving my skills...

 

I suppose everyone here is familiar with

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-hmzurm4SE

 

 

Send me your tired, your poor, your Fortran codes yearning to be free form...

 

just need a statue of liberty jpeg to add to this, but that's too high tech for an old fart.

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